Giving the Hall Pass

If I weren't Catholic I might believe that Peter and I torture each other. But I know better, it’s called sanctification. Sure, when it comes to our religious beliefs and moral standards we’re hand-in-hand on the same path. In most everything else we live on different planets.

He’s a guy who used to attend class in a button-down and khaki pants, briefcase at his side. I could focus on the lecture better if I was comfortable…sweatpants and t-shirt comfortable. He loves a good party and makes a new “friend” practically everyday. It takes me years to develop a relationship with anyone. He’s an early bird, I’m a night owl. He thinks "cost”, I think “value”. He says “I love you”, I say “I know you do.” When the going is good, we complement each other perfectly. When it’s not so good, we drive each other crazy. Which means, of course, that we have the temptation to want to change each other. To make the other conform to our personal expectations.

One thing I’ve learned in 7+ years of marriage is to not waste my time praying for specifics when I pray for my husband. There was a time early on when I made sure God knew exactly what it was that He needed to improve in Peter…his patience, his generosity, his sense of humor, etc. The list was long – I had a lot of ideas.

One day it struck me. I ought to pray for God to turn Peter into whatever kind of man He wants Peter to be, and in doing so it would be far better than what my mind could dream up.

First that prayer took him out of the field of education into the field of business. Not long afterwards it pushed us through the doors into the Traditional Latin Mass. Then it brought us to Houston. It got us involved in RCP. With every change life got better, communication became smoother, we got closer. Then, the Orvis Manager’s Special walked into our life. Literally. Our close friend, a manager at an Orvis Outlet, called up Peter and invited him on a duck hunt. In one day, a whole new world opened up to our family. We became more well-rounded, more enthusiastic and appreciative in our approach to life. We started going on hikes, fishing in the pouring rain (okay, only once), and listening to Brad Paisley (we’re going on a date to see him in concert this weekend!). Most importantly, Peter and I were reminded of the one superfluous thing we have in common – a love for the outdoors. We were camping the first time he met my family. He asked me to marry him at that same Pennsylvania state park. Our first vacation together was in a tent near a lake. How could all that have slipped our minds?

I never would’ve asked God to send Peter on a duck hunt; I had no idea what it would awaken in him. I ought to give him the hall pass more often. Who knows how it’ll transform my family?